My blog - hidup segan mati x mau

Wow! Lama giler aku x update blog aku yg x glamer ni...aku admit mmg blog aku ni agak 'suram' dari segi graphics, layout & perhaps content. Bila tgk blog member2 lain,,terpegun seketika sbb diorang punya up-to-date, cantik & menarik. Aku punya ni takat static je..janji ada bende ngarut utk ditulis...
Sebenarnya aku anggap blog aku ni tmpt nak lepaskan perasaan..whatever yg terpendam dlm hati, aku dump kat blog ni...i used to write my own diary when I was in high school..dlm tu macam2 aku tulis,,drpd kisah secret crush aku sampailah aku gaduh ngan kawan..it was a love-hate affair written in my diary. I continued writting until my 2nd year at MMU. Then I stopped. Masa tu blog blom popular kat M'sia. Aku rasa malas nak berdiari lagi. Ntahlah...maybe coz I was busy as a U student.
Whatever it is, i'll try to learn how to upgrade my blog. Malu beb budak IT x pandai buat blog kan?? heheh..adios for now..........

Tragedi Bali

Marah! Sedih! Geram! Devastated! Shocked! Apalagi perasaan yg harus aku gambarkan apabila dapat tahu Bali sekali lagi menjadi sasaran suicide bombers & dipercayai angkara anggota JI sendiri yg didalangi oleh tak lain tak bukan rakyat M'sia, Dr Azahari & Nordin (most wanted men in Asia). JI dikenalpasti sbg suspek utama sbb masa tahun 2002 dulu, Sari Club di Kuta telah dibom oleh anggota JI sendiri. Aku mendapat berita ni dpd Gya, member aku yg menonton CNN Sabtu malam. Aku pulak sedang tgk final Selangor lawan Perlis kat tv. Bila dapat je berita ni,,aku trus SMS abang angkat aku kat Bali, Wayan to make sure that he was safe & sound. Thank God, Wayan slamat & dia kata masa bombing tu dia ada di sekitar area Kuta.
Aku dah almost 1 month balik from Bali. Masa aku pergi 7/9-11/9, ramai member aku suruh berhati2 sbb takut berlaku another bombing. Depa pesan jangan jalan2 kat area yg ramai mat saleh sbb suicide bombers suka letupkan diri kat situ. Memula aku pikir gak mende tu. What would happen if I was there & suddenly a suicide bomber blew up himself? Aku pasti tak mahu jadi mangsa di situ. Aku takleh bayangkan langsung! So, I told myself that, whatever happens in Bali, it's already decided my Allah SWT. I calmed myself & tried not to think anything terrible when I was in Bali. Alhamdulillah, sepanjang 5 hari disana, takde musibah pun berlaku. Aku dapat gak menjejakan kaki kat Kuta. Matahari shopping complex aku tak sempat nk shopping situ. Kat situ semua kedai2 yg up class..macam KLCC. Dapat gak pergi snorkeling & parasailing kat Nusa Dua (another bombing site). Cuma Jimbaran aku tak singgah masa tu.
Pasal suicide bombers ni, biarlah Allah SWT yg menentukan nasib mereka di akhirat. Mmglah aku marah bila ada nyawa yg x berdosa turut terkorban spt budak kecil & org Islam di Bali. Kalu betul JI ni nak berjihad ke jalan Allah SWT, kenapa x pergi je ke Israel yg dah sah2 kerajaan Yahudi menindas umat Islam Palestin disana? Aku kecewa ngan Dr Azahari, bekas pensyarah UTM yg dikatakan gifted & Maths genius. Org macam dia ni sgt diperlukan di M'sia utk mendidik pelajar universiti especially anak Melayu yg dahagakan role model. Tapi, agaknya Dr Azahari ni lebih berminat nak berjihad..mayb dia ada alasan tersendiri kenapa involve dlm JI. Kesian anak bini & keluarga dia.
Whatever it is, aku bersyukur sbb xde bombing berlaku sepanjang di Bali. Apa yg aku ingat, masa kat sana aku betul2 enjoy 100%. Tak ingat langsung kerja yg menunggu di KL & problem2 peribadi. Aku berserah pada Qada' & Qadar je. Insya-Allah, aku akan ke Bali lagi next year.

My Best Holiday Trip Ever----Bali!

Where have I been hiding these past few weeks??? Well, no where else but in Bali! Yup, I went for a 5d 4n holiday trip to this so called Island of Gods. I really cant believe that I finally reached to the shores of this mystical island, famed for its rich Hindu culture & heritage. Every sights are filled with Hindu architecture with statues, puras (temples) & also Balinese drapped in traditional costume. We were lucky enough that we managed to witness several rituals except the cremation ceremony..*sighs*. Balinese folks are so nice & they treated us like kings & queens.
We eagerly booked Air Asia 4 months prior to our lustful holiday. We counted every single minute, day by day, week by week till 7th Sept came. My mind was so full of preparation for this trip coz I wanted to make it the most memorable holiday ever.
There was a bit misunderstanding at KLIA b4 our flight where Ila & Gya were detained due to Air Asia online ticketing error (human error? database error?). The other 6 of us were told to board the flight without them...pity Ila & Gya. However they managed to get the next flight plus RM50 for penalty after a concerned & understanding manager intervened the matter.
So, 6 of us flown over to Bali & arrived at Ngurah Rai Int Airport after a short 3 hrs flight. We were greeted by our van driver,Wayan at the airport (I knew Wayan from my cousin, Ejan who frequently fly to Bali). Dont be surprised if 10 Balinese said their name are Wayan. Actually, Balineses are called by their surnames. If they r 1st born child, they r called Wayan. 2nd child r called Made, 3rd child r called Komang /Nyoman & the 4th child r called Ketut. If there r ever 5th, 6th & so on children in the family, they will carry the same name in repetition as their elderlies. Thats mean, if there r 9 children in a family, there should b 3 Wayans, 2 Mades & 2 Komangs & 2 Ketuts...get it?
Our 1st day in Bali was just a short sight seeing along Denpasar town. Wayan acted as our tourist guide & he drove us to a Restoran Sederhana, a halal Padang food. We were mad hungry & ate like never had it before. The uniqueness of Padang food is that, all dishes r served on the table till there's no space left. So many varieties & we can choose any dish that we want to. Around 8pm, Ila & Gya arrived & we hurriedly headed to Kintamani.
Below r my Bali trip journal throughout 5d 4n stay:-

7/9/05 (Wed)
10.55-Flight take off from KLIA
13.55 -Arrival at Ngurah Rai Int Airport
14.30-Checked out from airport. Met Wayan & headed for lunch & sight seeing in Denpasar
18.00-Get Ila & Gya at airport. Stopped at several supermarket. Then straigt to Kintamani.
20.45-Arrived at Kintamani, a mountaineous village famed for the sleeping volcanic Mt Batur.

8/9/05 (Thurs)
00.30-Zzzzzz(cant sleep at all coz too cold!)
03.00-Wake up! Ready for mount climbing. (Too drowsy but I forced myself to wake up)
04.00-Started to climb Mt Batur wit the help from Mt Batur hikers association.
06.00-Arrived at the 2nd highest peak of Mt Batur (the best we could do). Watched the beautiful sunrise emerging. Snapped pics & recorded the panaromic sunrise.
09.30-Began to descend from Mt Batur. Less challenging path.
11.45-Arrived Lakeview hotel. Showered & packed clothing.
13.30-Checked out from hotel. Dropped by at Tirta Empul pura. Scenic temple with souveneir stalls around. Then headed to Tegalalang, a cascading paddy field.
18.00-Arrived at Ubud town. Checked in at Dewi Ayu hotel. Took a walk around the hotel area as there are many shops, spas & restaurants.
23.30- Lights off..............

9/9/05 (Fri)
07.00 -Woke up & get ready for white water rafting at Telaga Waja. Had delicious banana pancake for breakfast.
10.30-Splash! Me, Gya, Izah & Ila had a great time rafting in the rapid river. The local guides were sporting lot.
16.45-Went back to hotel. Rested for a while. Gya & I went for a walk around Monkey Forest street. Bought souveniers & stuffs. Izah & Ila went cycling. Beyzu, Lin, Pin & Mashy went for rafting.
23.00-Zzzz..physically & mentally exhausted.

10/9/05 (Sat)
07.00- Getting ready for cycling around Pasar Ubud area wit Gya. Separated wit other girls as they had other plans. (We shopped till we dropped!)
11.30-Packed clothing, getting ready for Uluwatu. Checked in our last hotel in Kuta.
14.30-Arrived at Uluwatu, famous for temples & restless monkeys. Very spectacular view from the top of the cliff. Watch out for ur belongings as the monkeys are trained to snatch anything from u..Pity Ila, her glasses were twice snatched by a monkey.
18.00- The moment finally came, Kecak dance performance during sunset. Very an eye opener & fun.
20.00-Show ended & we headed to our hotel.
23.00- Lights off.

11/9/05 (Sun)
07.00- *sigh* last day in Bali. Getting ready for beach activities.
09.30-Went for snorkeling (I was a nervous wreck,,stayed underwater for barely 10 mins then I freaked out!). Boat cruising to Pulau Penyu, a mini animal sanctuary. Then went back to the beach for parasailing (cool!)
14.45-Arrived at hotel. Showered & packed everything. By 16.00 we were out of Surfaris Inn. Headed to our last destination, Kuta town! Last minute shopping.
16.45- Arrived at Ngurah Rai. Bid farewell to Wayan. So sad!
20.10- Bye bye Bali! (total emotional as the plane took off)
23.00-Arrived at KL 10 min earlier...welcome back to the reality!

So..that was it..the next day, I went to work a bit late. But my mind was still in Bali. I had post holiday depression on Monday. Dunno why but holidaying in Bali had left a big impact in my life. I fell in love with Bali (perhaps a Balinese?) . Not to mention the idyllic & picturesque places of interest. I just cant wait to go back next year, with this time more adventures & shopping revenge! To Izah, Ila, Gya, Pin, Beyzu & Lin..hope we could get together for another episode of holidaying in Bali next yr!

p/s: picture taken at Uluwatu

12 Ogos 2004

12 Ogos 2004. Tarikh yg takan aku lupakan sampai bila2. Sesuatu yg amat meninggalkan kesan dalam hati aku berlaku pada tarikh tersebut. Aku tak tahu bagaimana nak menghadapi tarikh yg bakal kunjung tiba itu. Adakah aku akan menjadi seperti biasa? Adakah aku akan bertukar menjadi org lain? Adakah aku akan gembira, sedih atau tiada berperasaan langsung? Aku sendiri tak pasti. Aku cuma berharap aku dapat menjalani hidup seperti biasa pada 12 Ogos ini. Aku perlu kuatkan semangat, tabahkan hati, dan berfikiran positif. Perlu aku ingatkan diri ini bahawa tiada apa yg perlu aku risaukan atau kenangkan.

12 Ogos 2004. Aku telah kehilangan seorang teman. Kehilangan yg hakiki. Arwah N.A.S meninggalkan aku buat selama-lamanya utk menghadapi penciptaNya. Aku sedar arwah adalah hak mutlak Tuhan. Dia dipinjamkan kedunia utk sementara. Semua manusia begitu. Dipinjamkan ke dunia utk menjalani hidup yg penuh fantasi. Aku sempat bercinta dgn arwah selama setahun lebih. Tetapi jodoh kami tak panjang. Kami putus cinta. Dia membawa diri. Aku meneruskan hidup walaupun pahit utk ditelan. Beberapa bulan kemudian, terdetik utk aku menghubungi dia utk bertanyakan khabar. Kami sempat berbual walaupun sekejap. Jauh di lubuk hati aku amat merindui dia dan berharap utk menjalinkan semula hubungan yg kian lama terputus.

Tetapi sbg manusia, kita tidak boleh melawan takdirNya. Seminggu selepas kami berhubung, arwah telah dipanggil utk menghadapNya. Dia meninggal dunia akibat kemalangan jalan raya. Gelap duniaku pabila menerima berita buruk drpd ibuku. Aku bagaikana tak percaya kerana baru seminggu yg lepas aku mendengar suaranya. Aku terkedu. Blank. Aku terus menelefon handphonenya. Beberapa kali aku dial tetapi tiada sesiapa menjawab. Aku terus menangis dan menangis. Aku tak tau berapa lama aku menangis. Malam itu aku x dpt tido. Aku terkenangkan dia. Aku teringatkan arwah. Memori kami bersama berlegar2 dlm fikiranku. Aku berasa hidupku tak bermakna. Hari2 seterusnya aku hadapi dgn penuh kesedihan. Kemana2 aku pergi, aku terbayangkan wajah arwah. Aku cium, peluk baju arwah yg mamanya berikan padaku. Pendek kata, hidup aku mmg gelap dan penuh kedukaan.

Alhamdulillah. Aku bersyukur dilahirkan sbg Islam. Mempunyai asas agama yg kuat dan mampu menilai kehidupan. Aku pulihkan semangat utk terus hidup. Segala memori bersama arwah telah aku simpan dalam kotak kenangan. Mungkin mustahil utk membuang kotak itu, tapi aku cuba sedaya upaya utk meneruskan kehidupan tanpa dibayangi arwah. Berkat doa ibubapa dan kawan2, aku dapat keluarkan diri aku dr lembah kesedihan. Hanya doa yg mampu aku hadiahkan kepada arwah. 12 Ogos ini genap setahun arwah N.A.S pergi. Sungguhpun arwah sudah tiada, aku akan sentiasa mengenangkan dia sbg insan yg pernah mencuri hatiku suatu ketika dulu. Al-Fatihah buat arwah. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.

A poem for myself

I can fly
I can swim
When u'r gone
In my dreams

I feel strong
I feel great
When u'r down
And in pain

I see light
I see hope
When u'r lost
Weak and broke

Even if u'r haunting me

I tell myself not to worry

Oh duit kawin

2 weeks ago, aku pegi wedding one of my best friend, Ina. She's married to a guy known for several yrs since uni days. Aku interview Ina pasal wedding preparation dia. Terkejut gile bila Ina kata dia prepare almost everything dgn titik peluh dia & also her own $$ too...Wow! I really admired her gutso..It's not Ina's parents didnt contribute, but she was really determined to do everything on her own. How did she managed to put aside RM 10K ++ for her wedding? Itupun Ina kata tak cukup 10K & last minit overbudget plak..Ina start simpan duit kawin for almost 2yrs & dia sanggup tahan nafsu beli baju or shopping just nak simpan duit. Kalu aku? Hmm..sorry naik lori..aku rasa bila aku kawin nanti confirm parents aku contribute 75% of the wedding preparation & stuffs..Aku boros kalu habis duit kat baju, kasut, handbag..once a while abis duit kat entertainment mcm karaoke, boling, wayang & stuffs. Tapi bila fikir balik, pakai duit sendiri utk majlis kawin mmg menyeronokan & mungkin satu kepuasan. Agaknya sbb apa ek? Meh aku list down sbb2 nya:-
i) Xmo menyusahkan parents / meringankan beban parents
ii) Self-satisfaction (with no money back guaranteed..betul x?)
iii) Buktikan pada pasangan masing2 yg kita mampu & berduit
iv) Xmo berhutang ngan sesapa (ada org pinjam loan kat bank..pastu nak bayau satu hal plak +interest)
v) Bila spending kita akan cuba berjimat & x overbudget (bagus la bagi mrk yg penjimat ni)
vi) Appreciate every single penny spend & feel thankful that we still have money compared to the less fortunate
I guess tuje sebab musabab yg reasonable dlm otak aku..anybody wants to share opinion?

Viva Dewa!!!

Macam x percaya on 28/5/2005 merupakan tarikh bersejarah dlm hidup coz for the 1st time in my life I went to a concert! Mayb it sounds ridiculous, but I really didnt want to loose the opportunity to meet Dewa live! Actually on 26/5 (Thur) I pegi autograph session Dewa@ Midvalley Kamdar along wit my 2 buddies (Dewa fanatics). We took pics with Dewa & even shook hands! They signed my Cds too...Once always smiled & looked cheerful. Dhani was quiet & looked a bit moody(maybe jetlagged?). Andra & Yuke was just nice. Only Tyo was missing coz of illness. We got info from insiders that Dewa would have their dinner at an Indonesian restuarant in Bkt Bintang on Friday nite. My buddies Izah & Masshy went there & they were the luckiest fan in the world coz the guys really dined there! I was jealous with them as they showed me their pics taken with Dewa in person! I was supposed to go but I had matters that nite...how regretted I am.
So,,back to the subject..masa pegi konsert Dewa I dah agak crowd sure besar punya..tapi slack aa sbb consert buat kat KL Tower punya compound..dahlah kecik,,pastu stage settings pun sucks! Beribu2 manusia berhimpit mcm sardin. Such a pity for the short ones..tapi kira oklah ada projector screen left & right. So,,around 8.30 pm, the concert kicked off with 2 opening acts by local groups, Gerhana Ska Cinta & Kluk Kluk Adventure. Both groups are homegrown Ska acts & they played pretty good. The crowd went wild when Dewa finally appeared at 9.15 pm. Izah & I jumped & screamed like mad when Once started to sing. The atmosphere was euphoric, fans sang along & some 'monkeys' danced & did head banging which I hated most.
Dewa played most of their popular songs from their earliest & latest album. Memang masyuk layan guitar played by Andra & Yuke. Really skillful. Tyo is the drummer. Dhani plays the keyboard & guitar..He was so hot on stage & finally could see him smilling! Once as the singer never failed to deliver all songs. He also could interact wit da crowd & even 'reminded' all Indonesian fans to behave while staying in M'sia & respect the host. The crowd cheered & clapped when he said that. How witty Once. The magical moment ended around 11.45pm & the crowd wanted more..But Dewa didnt cont singing & dissapeared backstage immediately. After that, my buddies & I went for late supper feeling hungry & tired...we couldnt believe that we just saw Dewa onstage..X sabar nak tunggu the next concert!!!

Semua tgh menahan kesejukan atas puncak Mt. Berinchang, Cameron Highlands. Kudos to Bob for taking this picture. We planned to climb Mt Irau but due to unforseen circumstances we had to postpone it.  

New Gal in town

Rite now I'm listening to Ella's "Sembilu"..sedih bangat lagu ni..Dah pukul 17.01..jap lagi lepak kat Maju, port minum2 teh tarik sambil layan celoteh geng2 PSC..Again like any ordinary days I become a second hand smoker..thank u guys..x lama lagi aku claim Prudential aku yer..Today not so many calls from users, bosan gak sbb hav to sit & stare the PC over & over again..Sampai x tau nak surf apa dah...Just want to enhance my knowledge in PC hardware..tadi dpt la format satu Dell Optiplex GX110..nasib baik fuss free ..but ada Sasser worm tu yg leceh skit..Sabtu ni ada hiking kat G. Irau..I'm in hi spirit to join but suddenly my supervisor inform dia start AL Thur-next Wed...AARGGHH!!! Got to do something with that. Dont wanna miss the trip! Maju,,here I come!